CM Punk, I Always Knew You’d Lose, But How Spectacularly?

CM Punk (Phil Brooks) is a former WWE wrestling champion who, this Saturday, will have his first ever MMA fight.  Not only does he have no combat sports background, but he is thirty-nine with multiple back and knee injuries and has been "training" for less than two years.

Training in relation to CM Punk, is put in quotations because according to sources and footage of his open workouts there seems to be no artifacts of a training that will prepare him to face a younger, hungry lion in Mikey Gall at UFC 203.

'Fighter' is of course a desired word, in any spectrum of life, but it is one that must be earned.  This is an important distinction when talking about CM Punk.  His desire to be a fighter seems rooted in something nearer to spectacle.  While WWE has left its share of injuries, these were side effects of a thrice weekly spectacle.  They were injuries from attrition and performance, not from flash-reality mistakes in the octagon or ring of holding ones right hand too low and eating a left hook or a broken arm from losing a scramble on the ground.

Darrill Schoonover, UFC vet and head Alpha of Red Spider MMA, sees it from the fifty yard line and his prediction is succinct:

" I doubt anyone coming in to the sport with little to no experience would be able to compete at the top elite level. There's no way it's going to happen. It will more than likely be embarrassing"

UFC has long maintained that it is "As Real As it Gets", but for the peanut gallery, it is as real as WWE.  The fight game's "reality" is much different - it is minutes that flash ad infinitum on highlight reels and manifest in post-facto fights and retirements rife with addictions and sadness.  CM Punk IS the peanut gallery.  Everyone who ever watched a fight and thought "I can do that" will be represented Saturday night, and the UFC audience will finally see the ceiling of their fandom, and how far still beyond it the fight game's reality lives.

This fight won't see rounds.  It will be a matter of minutes, and I predict in less than two CM Punk will finally see the (arena) light, and himself in the crowd where he has been all along.