Before that pushy World Wildlife Fund got all cranky and lawyered the WWF initials away from pro wrestling, we dug the quarter-chomping arcade game ‘WWF WrestleFest.’ If the ‘Street Fighter II’  cabinet was occupied, ‘WrestleFest’ was our go-to-game.

Mind-blowing for the early 90′s, ‘WrestleFest’ lined up the likes of Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Perfect and Earthquake to let you partake in turnbuckle-hopping fisticuffs. But like wistful memories of middle school cafeteria food and old episodes of ‘The Snorks,’ some activities are best left to the past.

The iOS remake ‘WWE Wrestlefest’ suffers because it’s so good at replicating the now-disappointing classic whose time has long since passed. You control your guy with a touchscreen joypad and a pair of action buttons. Well, you more suggest moves than actually control your wrestler. Animations are lengthy and tough to cancel out of, and you’re often sucked into your opponent’s plans to pin you or send you stumbling toward the ropes before you can execute moves of your own.

The game starts you off with eight wrestlers, mixing stars from various eras, with options to buy new characters via downloadable packs.

More power to you if you’re able to stay interested in the game long enough to feel the need to add more dudes. There’s little to distinguish one puffy-faced guy from the next, with the sluggish controls rendering everyone a retro-rendered meat stick. Online play is available, but it was a bit laggy for our tastes.

We’d like to think the original game was better than this, but in reality it was probably much worse. Now it’s on you, World Wildlife Fund, to make the next great WWF game.

RATING: 4/10

‘WWE WrestleFest’ ($3), available on iOS, was published by THQ, which provided a download code for review. We played the game for two hours on an iPod Touch.