Duke Keith

Dallas Cowboys owner and General Manager, Jerry Jones, has been waiting...waiting for his team to return the the playoffs, to the good times, to the "glory hole days". Clearly, Jerry doesn't really know that's not just an old oil man's phrase anymore...which doesn't make it any less hilarious.

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At the risk of overloading the internet with Carly Rae Jepsen ripoffs, we present a "Call Me Maybe" parody -- meaning nobody's lip-syncing the song in a mass transit vehicle, they're making funnies by writing their own lyrics. This one's by a group called NOC, which seems to be happy Ryan Lochte's beating Michael Phelps these days.

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Given an opportunity to leave for other schools after the NCAA hammered their program, the entire Penn State football team gave their verbal commitment to a school -- Penn State.

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When I heard that the NCAA had empowered president Mark Emmert to blow Penn State out of the water, I reiterated my thoughts that any penalty coming from the governing body of college sports would be like throwing a match into a raging forest fire.

After hearing Emmert unload both verbal barrels, I've changed my mind about one thing. Good on the NCAA for vacating Joe Pater

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A classic "Get Out Of My Face" from The Onion's bombastic duo of sports yellers on Joe Paterno, the strange beings that inhabit bunkers on British links courses and the May 2012 Baltimore Orioles...who'll probably be nothing like the September 2012 Orioles.

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Jordan would have made all three...

...I'M KIDDING, PEOPLE!

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There has been a lot of response to my column about Joe Paterno, especially regarding the picture of his statue below. Penn State says there's no way that statue is coming down.

I think they ought to bring the thing down, especially because of the words they have next to the statue: "Success With Honor". Obviously, it's been all but proven in court that Penn State's success in football was not achieved honorably. And while I respect the university's right to keep the statue, not everyone with a can of spray paint will. Just sayin'.

Read the column here and vote on what you think Penn State ought to do with the statue in our poll below.

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One of the highlights of the MLB All-Star Game is the Home Run Derby, because whether or not you love the game of baseball, EVERYBODY loves a home run! Cecil Fielder's performance in the MLB Home Run Derby got the office thinking about the biggest home runs ever. Here are my Top 5.

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Eat your hearts out, balloon animal-makers. Meet Joel Zae, a man who truly deserves to be called a balloon sculptor, and watch this time-lapse video of him making his masterpiece -- a nearly full-size LeBron James made entirely of balloons. Puts your puny weiner dog to shame, doesn't it, Fluffy the Clown?

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