These scanned images from what appears to be a book on courtship (that’s what our mom calls it — courting) circa who knows when popped up on Reddit yesterday. We looked them over and at first thought “these have to be fake.” The photos are very real, and this book exists, but the text must have been doctored in some way. This can’t be real advice to women. These captions can’t be real. Can they?

Alright, who is writing these captions, Tarzan? “Man needs it in driving.” Man no see, car go crash. He no have Geico. Also, grabbing the rearview mirror while a person is driving is a general no-no for a hundred different reasons other than ‘ticking off your date.’ How about don’t do it, because, well you could both die? Death be damned, she is light on lip gloss!

Oh man, a dollar for every time a woman tried to make us cry on a date. Usually we do, but only before, during and after sex and occasionally if we order the wrong salad.

Women getting too friendly with waiters is an issue? So friendly that she is telling him how another date went? We can’t even get waiters to get our food order correct, this woman is getting dating advice with a side of slaw. If they are talking about her last date because this is the same restaurant she went to with him, that’s also poor form. If they are talking about her last date because it was this waiter, well, the other guy should just ask for the check and wrap this whole evening up. That dude looks like he is packing and we aren’t referring to firearms.

All our witty comments aside, could these captions be real? What do you think?

[Via Reddit]