In Praise of Alyssa Milano – The Perfect Dodgers Woman

I met a guy at a bar – imagine that, a sports writer (ok…now blogger) in a bar – he was commiserating over the fact his wife didn’t fully appreciate baseball or his desire to watch every single Dodgers game he could locate. Fortunately, for my employment continuation, I was able to emphasize the wonderful service to Dodgers fans provided by 600 ESPN El Paso. Plus there is simply something magical about LISTENING to a ball game on the radio. That’s the reason so many real fans will turn down the sound on the TV in favor of turning up the sound of the game on the radio.

As a public service to every man trying to turn their woman into a baseball fan I offer the following advice…provide them with a strong role model. Start with a fine romantic evening together watching a strong supportive couple in a Baseball movie. Here are my 3 recommendations for outstanding baseball movie wives.

#3 Dottie Hinson
Geena Davis’ character in “A League of Their Own.” She was not a supportive wife of a player or fan, Dottie was the STAR OF THE TEAM. Being a supportive husband, I thought HOW COOL IS THAT? Put yourself in the spouse position. Not only is the wife an appreciator of the game, but a player, and bringing home a salary for playing. Forget that it was set in the 40’s and the pay scale would probably have made Susan B. Anthony start a movement on her behalf. She could play. After retirement when the boys wanted a ringer for the company softball game all you’d have to do is offer to bring the wife. If you have any talent what-so-ever, the odds of the gene pool collaboration delivering another paycheck once the offspring signed that pro contract have increased dramatically.
#2 Meg Boyd
Meg Boyd, played by Shannon Bolin in the 1958 classic “Damn Yankees.” Meg wasn’t really much of a fan in the beginning. By movies’ end she becomes somewhat a Washington Senators convert thanks to her motherly affection for her boarder young Joe Hardy. The real charm of Meg is that for 6-months out of every year she knows she plays second fiddle to her husband’s other object of affection, AND ACCEPTS IT. This woman stays with her man through winning and losing seasons, and with the movie and historical Senators, there were a lot more losing than winning seasons. That’s the sort of devotion (blind faith?) worthy of a Washington Baseball fan, be it the original Senators, the V2 Senators who went on to become the Texas Rangers, or the former Expos-turned-Nationals of today.
#1 Annie Kinsella
Annie Kinsella, played by Amy Madigan in “Field of Dreams.” She deserves the number one poll position simply because she let her husband plow down a major portion of their farm’s crops to build a Baseball field. No other marital partner in cinematic history has ever, or will ever, match that act of support in the name of America’s pastime.
Alyssa Milano

Now if you really want to offer your lady up a role model I recommend you suggest she read, “Safe at Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic,” by Alyssa Milano. The famous child actress who remains relevant and more accomplished as an adult, lives in Los Angeles and is a serious Dodgers fan, even confessing she is in love with Baseball. The book contains all the details of her life and how this life-long romance began in Staten Island, is tied to her family and tradition, and actually is filled with poignant observations along with some great stories.

To understand why this is the one book to help you turn your woman into a baseball Stepford Wife, YOU need to appreciate Alyssa’s point of view, which finding agreement could double for a test of any man to answer, “how big of a fan are you really?” On page 106 Alyssa writes, “Getting there early is important because, as with all things baseball, it’s the instances that surround the action that lend the event its power and appeal. The anticipation and ritual before the game are almost as crucial as the game itself. I find this true for anything that’s important, whether it’s cooking a hamburger or buying a new pair of shoes or going on a date. Anticipation, preparation, fantasizing…and celebration or disappointment, depending. All of these are important for a game where the action itself is such a small (but critical) part of the entire tapestry of strategy and preparation.” I will fight any man who calls Alyssa just another poser-fan or Hollywood bimbo. These are the musings of a true fan.

Should your woman become such a disciple of this Baseball Sensei ‘s teachings she emulates Alyssa to the degree of desiring a makeover to achieve look-alike status…then you’ve not only hit a homer, you’ve hit a grand slam.

Filed Under: A League of Their Own, alyssa milano, Damn Yankees, field of dreams, MLB

Categories: Baseball, Sports