dkeith

DukeKeith

My biography as haiku:

calling sports not played

poking fun without a point

dang i like donuts

Sports Cuteness: Daughter Consoles Dad After Soccer Loss [VIDEO]

In the rest of the world, if your soccer team sucks badly enough, they send it to the minor leagues. It's called relegation, and it can be as harsh as it sounds. Big money, big TV, big player contracts -- all gone because you lost. Midfielder Rogier Meijer's team, De Graafschap, was relegated on the final day of the season. The catastrophic loss sent him to the turf...where his daughter came out to console her dad!

Michael Griego/Courtesy: El Paso Patriots Michael Griego/Courtesy: El Paso Patriots

Patriots’ Three-Goal Snack Satisfies in Open Cup Win

(PATRIOT STADIUM, El Paso, TX) — Naoyas Aizawa sandwiched an assist between two goals, and while it wasn’t quite a feast for the El Paso Patriots, a 3-1 win over the North Texas Rayados was satisfying enough to whet their appetite for more in the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup.

This Guy’s Nuts (Must HURT!): Man Rides Bike Down Mountain Staircase [VIDEO]

Marcelo Gutierrez is a brave man. Too bad he'll have no descendants to whom he'll be able to pass that bravery along. Watch this video of Marcelo going down the more than 1,000 steps that scale Mount Montserrate outside of Bogotá -- a 6,500-foot descent -- and you'll see what I mean. I'll never be able to look at a pack of slivered almonds the same way again.

John Tortorella, Man of Few Words, Gets Them Remixed [VIDEO]

The New York Rangers are in the Eastern Conference Finals in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Their coach, John Tortorella, is well-known for giving very short post-game interviews and answers -- so well-known for it that ESPN's DJ Steve Porter made a video mashup about it.

Aguero’s Late Goal Gives Man City EPL Title [VIDEO]

The English Premier League's 2012 season was voted its best-ever, and after the finish in it's most important season-ending game Sunday, it would be hard to argue. (Check this video while you can -- it might disappear!)

Baseball Takes Out Crotch, Jaw [VIDEO]

Sunday night, Brandon Inge of the Oakland A's hit a huge homer that two fans will never forget -- because it hit the guy in the family jewels and the girl in the mouth. Ironically, if the guy could handle fly balls a little better, this would never have happened!

Harvard Baseball Team Covers “Call Me Maybe” [VIDEO]

Yes, sports is fun. But, as anyone who has even played high school sports can tell you, road trips suck. Take as many of them as a college baseball team and you'll do anything to pass the time. For Harvard's baseball team, the road blues led them to choreography to pop hits.

Chris Paul’s Son Mimics Blake Griffin’s Face [VIDEO]

He hasn't been in the NBA that long, but Blake Griffin's scowl is already famous. When you see it, chances are there's about to be some kind of ridiculous dunk that makes Griffin look like a full-grown man throwing down on a kids' Nerf hoop. Need proof Griffin's scowl is already known? Just ask Chris Paul's son...

Trampoline Dunk Falls Short for Big Man [VIDEO]

Who doesn't love a great dunk? This is great, but it's not a dunk. The only thing this guy will be dunkin' is his donuts.

Fish And Chips Out of Water: Englishman Does NBA Play-by-Play [VIDEO]

Check out this bit of hilarity by an English sports blogger who does commentary of CPUvCPU replays from NBA2K12. He doesn't have the first clue about basketball and sounds at least as uncomfortable as ESPN's Scott Van Pelt does describing any soccer highlight on SportsCenter.