El Paso Should be Ground Zero for Weird New Fart Experiment

Scientists are just now examining and learning from farts, finally, and El Paso should be their next testing ground.

This low-hanging fruit was just too hard not to pick, and wipe.

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Scientists say that creating sensors in toilets that can analyze, please no pun intended, but kind of intended, human flatulence could help detect (human) health problems sooner than routine doctor visits.

Off the bat, both you and I should have questions about anyone who wants to, or is even willing to, study human gas emissions.

Ancalle, a mechanical engineering student at Georgia Tech who researches fluid dynamics, is currently working to demystify the acoustics of urination, flatulence, and diarrhea. His team is training AI to recognize and analyze the sound of each bathroom phenomenon;

They should have called their study, The Art of the Fart.

Well, sadly, as it turns out farts are more science than art.

According to the smart people,

But the project soon expanded: Ancalle teamed up with researchers at GTRI who were figuring out ways to passively detect outbreaks of gastrointestinal diseases. Perhaps, they wondered, next-gen toilets could do more than collect excrement — they could also help alert communities of an outbreak..

Based on my experiences trapped in a car for 11 hours with my El Paso family, the city should be their next testing ground, so we can finally find out what crawled up inside my uncle and died.

This all sounds very interesting and I'm not trying to make these scientists the BUTT of any joke, but they kind of are asking for it.

Either way, sign me up Scotty.

I'm just hoping to get one of them smart toilets that talk to you out of it.

nico@klaq.com