So let's do a little promotion for Lubbock, Texas, God's Country, U.S.A.!  Okay, not really.

I was checking out YouTube and there is a number of dopey influencer types hyping Lubbock even though it's obvious they've never been here. I can't quite put my finger on who funds these nonsensical videos, but I guess more power to them. What IS fun though is, they tend to misdirect you by saying things like "Don't Live Here If.." then turn it around into some marginal selling point. I guess these folks are trying to be ironic or something. Instead, I'll tell you straight out, here are the Top Ten Things You Cannot Do In Lubbock, Texas.

Image: Justin Massoud/Wes Nessman
Image: Justin Massoud/Wes Nessman
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Visit An Amusement Park

Yep, Joyland is gone. If was small, and mostly oriented toward smaller kids, but it was much loved. They just closed up shop leaving Lubbock with fewer places to make memories.

LegacyPlayVillage_GoogleMaps_022117
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Visit An Iconic Children's Playground

Legacy Play Villiage was once one of the coolest and most iconic playgrounds anywhere. It is now an assortment of sticks somewhere in the landfill. How something that was so awesome, and so Lubbock was left to rot is beyond me.

Photo by Alexander Popov on Unsplash
Photo by Alexander Popov on Unsplash
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Enjoy The Amazing Nightlife

Don't believe the hype about music or nightlife in Lubbock. It's mostly a weekend thing around here.  Weekends can get to poppin' but Monday through Wednesday are especially quiet.

Baby In Pool
Photo by Valeria Zoncoll on Unsplash
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Cool Off In Our Splash Pads

This should change at some point, but as of right now, we are high and dry for most things that involve kids and water. You're just going to have to get a sprinkler head for your hose and let them run through that.

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash
Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash
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Visit Our Zoo

We have no zoo. We have a small patch of land that is designated as "Prairie Dog Town". Now, for those you who don't know, this is just one spot where we don't gas the little rodents and/or run them over in the streets (hey, I don't approve of those things, I'm just telling the truth).

jackinthebox.com
jackinthebox.com
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Enjoy Delicious Food From In-And-Out Burger, Carl's Junior, And Jack In The Box (oh, and Taco Bueno)

Can you even imagine if I included all of the other fast food businesses that called it quits or aren't in the Hub? I'm totally good with what we have but still amazed we don't have locations for the restaurants listed above.

Submitted by: Wes Nessman
Submitted by: Wes Nessman
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Peer Out On The Scenic Vistas

You can make any number of claims about Lubbock, but other than the sunrise and sunset, there is NOTHING scenic about this town. Even worse, we have tons of windblown trash right now.

emonighttour.com
emonighttour.com
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Get Into Our 24/7 Lifestyle

Pre-pandemic we at least had grocery stores that were open all night. That's all gone and I feel really sorry for those third shifters just trying to have a life. We roll up the sidewalks around here.

Vintagehockey.com
Vintagehockey.com
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Check Out Our Pro and Semi-Pro Sports

The amount of semi-pro baseball, football, and hockey teams that have started here and folded should be some kind of record. That record starts with a zero because that's how many lasted.

Something Stinks
Eldad Carin
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Enjoy The Fresh Air

Take a big breath of that fresh air. Yep, that's dirt that just went in your lungs. It's okay though, sometimes that dirt is flavored with an overwhelming smell of cow dung. It's hard to believe people in Lubbock were so resistant to masks when there's so much junk in the air around here.

The Last Word

Most of us are very happy with Lubbock just the way it is. I'm sure other places have many things they miss too. There is any number of reasons to love it here, but that's a whole other post...

What We Wish We Could Change About Lubbock (Some Are Totally Possible)

I asked several people, "if you could change only one thing about Lubbock, what would it be?" Here are their answers, and a few ideas on how to make it happen.

$29 A Night Will Get You A Surprisingly Decent Airbnb In Shallowater

It's nothing fancy, but it'll do in a pinch!

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