Simone Biles Is NOT an ‘Embarrassment,’ But Texas Deputy AG Aaron Reitz Is

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Texas Deputy Attorney General Aaron Reitz, a man who looks like the crusty bottom of a big toe, announced his candidacy for biggest jackass in Texas with one incredibly obnoxious tweet:

Simone Biles, a Houston native, is the most decorated gymnast of all time, with a combined total of 30 Olympic and World Championship medals. She has multiple maneuvers named after her, and she can't even get a fair score because it's too challenging for other gymnasts to attempt to compete with her. Biles is simply the greatest gymnast of all time, the best athlete of a generation, and her name will ring with glory for as long as humans can remember athletic competitions.

Meanwhile, a man who has accomplished melting his chin into his neck has an opinion about her. Color me surprised.

Comparing Biles to Strug just emphasizes the terror and tragedy that Strug experienced, being all but directly forced to compete with a severe injury. 1996 was NOT a great time to be a gymnast. It was a time of abuse, both mental and sexual, a time in which human athletes were as disposable as racing greyhounds.

Seriously, getting salty about medals is the selfish, childish, nationally embarrassing thing to do. And here's what really sticks in my craw: we all know he's just doing it to pander to the worst of his base, the slimy-souled people who are just chomping at the bit to diminish black excellence. Too bad, because Biles is and will always be the untouchable G.O.A.T.

It should also be noted that Aaron Reitz ran for the Texas House of Representatives to represent District 47. He lost in the Republican primary because he is a LOSER.

Twitter was full of thoughtful responses to Reitz's comment which were way nicer than what I have to say:

Perhaps Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton should reconsider some of his appointments.