Catch Me if You Can
Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was banned from a Dallas mall in one of the more bizarre stories involving athletes and the ‘law.’ Bryant may have eluded NFL cornerbacks in his amazing rookie season, but the talented young receiver was no match for a mall cop on a segway.
According to the police report off duty cops working security at an upscale Dallas mall issued Bryant a criminal trespass reports. Apparently Bryant and three friends were asked to pull up their sagging pants to cover their underwear. They refused to comply. When confronted again Bryant reportedly launched a profanity laced tirade and wouldn’t leave the property until his agent or attorney arrived. Bryant then parked his car in a fire lane in protest and didn’t leave until friends persuaded him to.
The story gets stranger yet. This wasn’t Bryant’s first run in with security at this mall. His previous incidents include a run in with a female at P.F. Changs, cutting in line at the Apple store, and parking in a fire lane. Bryant is now serving a three month ban from the mall. He could be arrested if he returns before the ban is lifted.
In the grand scheme of things these are not egregious offenses, but they show a pattern of entitlement common with professional athletes. Bryant battled character issues during college, and those issues are probably why he fell so far in the 2010 draft. Jerry Jones once passed on Randy Moss because of his character, and he didn’t want to make the same mistake with Bryant.
I hope Bryant will learn from this and be able to enjoy his greasy slice of Sbarro pizza without disturbing the peace! Who knows, maybe he needs one of those dollar a minute Asian massages to relieve the tension and aggression. When he’s good and ready he can take the big leap and go Yankee Candle or Bath and Body Works to receive inner peace. Only when he is fully rehabilitated he can browse a Sharper Image or Brookstone and purchase an overpriced contraption that really serves no purpose. Unless it is one of those awkward, huge neck massagers.